Science
Energy
Transportation
Electronics
Appliances
Chemicals
Robotics

Pollution— the consequence of technological advancement
 

            Technology can help us build a perfect utopian society. Instead it turns out to be a dangerous deception that threatens the very existence of the planet. The betrayal of trust by mad scientists has created enormous obstacles to real scientific progress and caused some of the most menacing problems of society. Based on conclusive evidense that is there for all to see, we must conclude that this is no accident. Despite their disguise as paragons of intellectual integrity their treacherous deeds are a diabolical plot to destroy the world. Such a scheme is not at all hard to believe. Scientists by their own admission are godless creatures who think that everyone else is stupider than they are, which may be true. But that's only because their brains are saturated with too much information which ferments until it reaches critical mass, then overflows like a clogged toilet and floods society with the byproducts of their thoughts.

Notwithstandng their mental handcap they deserve no sympathy because thay are cold calculating nerds who seek only to harm us. Their psychotic condition is understandable though not excusable. Like most serial killers these maniacs were physically challenged wimps, bullied in their prepubescent formative years, and traumatized by frustrated emotions due to the inability to cultivate personal relationships as adolescents. They eventually channeled their repressed rage into scientific careers — and now they finally have the power to pay society back for all the torment they underwent. That's why they invented the nuclear bomb. They have the power to destroy the earth a thousand times over. But they are nevertheess still scrawny little geeks with insecurity issues.

SCIENCE

            Science is liked a two-headed sword. Beneficial yet hazardous. Not so long ago scientists insisted that the earth was flat. located at the center of the universe. Those who subscribed to that belief were called The Flat Earth Society. Anyone who disagreed was ridiculed or burned at the stake. Then as new discoveries were made and members of the Flat Earth Society slowly died off, the scientific establishment was forced to admit that they were wrong, reluctantly admitted that earth is indeed sphere shaped.   The next generation of scientists also admitted that earth is just one of the many trillions of planets scattered across the galaxies throughout the universe. Despite their colossal errors of ignorance—from which they may never recover—most scientists still cling to the foolish fallacy that humanity is the only intelligent life that exists anywhere in all of creation. They qualify their claim by saying that since there's no empirical proof of extraterrestrial life then we can't no for sure, and so therefor it's not true. The problem with their reasoning is that even though there's a lack of evidence to verify a fact, that doesn't automatically make it untrue. Though confirmation may be difficult we can still know things by other forms of knowledge such as intuition or common sense. But for scientists to say that everything is false unless they prove otherwise, and that nothing is true less they validate it, makes them the sole arbiter of what we are supposed to think reality is. Furthermore, theories that scientists swore were true are constantly being proven false, and we pay the price for all their stupid mistakes. After their theories being discredited and blunders exposed non-stop, these shameless scientists still have the gall to demand undeserved respect. Their ignorance knows no bounds as they appoint themselves the final judge of all things. Never mind the major problems they cause, forget about the fact that they're destroying the planet; they have complete control and we are at their mercy.

Albert Einstein — Smart or Dumb?
The conventional wisdom is, in reality, conventional stupidity. Case in point: Albert Einstein.

When people think of geniuses, the name Albert Einstein often comes to mind. Many people believe that Einstein was one of the smartest geniuses that ever lived. We have been told this repeatedly for decades, in school, in the media, books, etc. It's taken for granted, and no one questions the claim. Even though most people understand absolutely nothing about the math and physics that his theories are based on, they nevertheless accept it as the work of a great genius. The E=MC2 formula that he is famous for spelling out, is just common sense, and anyone who didn't already know that was simply stupid. Therefore Einstein was relatively smarter than they were, which is what his special theory of relativity is all about. The question is: Why is Einstein universally admired and respected as an outstanding human being, while anyone else who looks like him is considered to be a worthless bum?

One of the greatest scientific discoveries of all time proved that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.   This law of physics is validated every time a new technology is developed. Consider the following examples:

Atomic Power Nuclear weapons threaten humanity, and radioactive waste from nuclear power plants poison the environment.
Chemicals Chemical weapons such as nerve gas proliferate and toxic chemicals pollute the environment
Antibiotics Intended to cure disease but spawns deadlier strains of bacteria that are immune to antibiotics.

THE "SUPER GENIUS"

Science is relative, depending on what paradigm in which it is being practiced. Many of the so-called greatest scientific achievements may have seemed like a good idea at the time, but were actually colossal blunders, and foolish mistakes that have since become entrenched mainstays of civilization. If one asks how this could have happened, the answer is quite simple. Consider the basic process of combustion, the scientific term for fire. To our early ancestors it must have been the most amazing thing to harness this natural energy, and use it beneficially. This new power was so awesome that they became obsessed with it, ignoring all the other possible discoveries. Prehistoric humans were extremely ignorant, ape-like creatures. But they truly believed that they were geniuses once they stumbled on to using fire, making tools and inventing lots of other crude contrivances. For tens of thousands of years their overly inflated egos blinded them from seeing past the level of rudimentary innovation, and this condition eventually became permanently embedded in our DNA. The subhuman fascination with fire still excites the primitive idiot inside us all. And most technological breakthroughs are similarly misguided exploits. That's why they use the term breakthroughs, and not some other more constructive term. Thermonuclear weaponry is a perfect example of science gone awry.

If science is supposed to help us, why does it always end up killing us? Because human beings are savage animals who pretend to be on a higher level. Such self-agrandizing pseudo-sophistication limits us to the same old backward mentality that kept us stuck in the stone ages for so long. And now our technology threatens to bomb us back into the stone ages once again. It's not that technology per se is a problem, it's what we do with it that is the issue. Scientists are just like their cave-dwelling predecessors, rolling the dice, risking life and limb in a gambling game, betting against security and survival, for a short-lived flash-in-the-pan brain fart, so they can get another round of funding for their next genetic mutant monster experiment, or doomsday machine upgrade. There is no shortage of examples that demonstrate this fact. In fact, the term demonstrate comes from the phrase, demon straight from hell. Since the dark ages science and spirituality have been diametrically opposed schools of thought. Recently however old school diehards have been dying off, and rays of quantum light are burning holes through their derelict dogma. But let's not pop the champaign corks just yet, there's still plenty of closed minded morons roaming the marble halls of academia

There was never any real need for fire. It was first used by the feeble for a sense of security because it made them feel warm and fuzzy all over. This mental and physical weakness was contagious, and soon humans from all walks of life began their lazy-minded descent into reverse evolution. Instead of using their minds creatively they adopted every easy technique that came along, thinking that they were oh so smart. However the reality is that by always opting for the simple solutions, they became simpletons who never developed much intellectual aptitude. And as a result of their negligence, we now must work extra hard to overcome their shortcoming. It will take the combined effort of the entire human race thinking cerebrally to grow our brains enough to transcend the rut in we're in.

So we should use it to weed out the problematic technological ideas and inventions.

ENERGY

Electricity

            The industrial dynamics of society and civilization at large is powered by electrical energy. As ubiquitous as it is, and as dependent as we are on it, it is the most used yet least understood type of energy we have. Although we learned how to harness it to a certain extent, we have not quite mastered it because the laws of physics cannot explain exactly how it works. Despite our total reliance on it as a necessary component-the central nervous system as it were-and an absolute essential element for society to function, it can fail us at a time. It was the height of naiveté to build the intricate infrastructure of civilization around such an unknown and volatile energy source. Major power outages that leave thousands without light or heat for weeks are only minor inconveniences compared to a permanent planet-wide blackout caused by solar storm radiation or some other electromagnetic anomalies. All scientists concur that such a threat is indeed real, but most dismiss it as being too far beyond the odds of probability to bother worrying about. Unfortunately, this is the kind of asinine advice we have come to expect from them. They shrug their shoulders and say there's a good chance it might not happen, instead of developing an alternative to electricity. The dependence on electricity as an energy source is equivalent to building a house of cards to live in. It's a carelessly conceived, precariously placed pit of snakes.

            Not withstanding the great global gamble, problems with local electrical hazards are a sure bet. No other product of technology is so predominant, yet so dangerous in society. It's a wired world wrapped in rubber covered copper cables, a great grid of high voltage vipers pushing venom from the power plant to the plug-a two-fanged fiend at the head of a coiled cord, ready to strike at the push of a button or the flick of a switch. Some    kill with just a touch such as the electric eel, a poison power cord disguised as a sort of sea snake. Others kill by choking or burning. But most victims are incapacitated and go into shock prior to death. The complete infestation of civilization by this mass menace outstretched in a vast network of slithering serpents has an unrelenting stranglehold on society. The threads of electrical circuitry weave the social fabric together with an evil entity, a dark malevolent energy beyond the control of mere mortals.

Fossil Feuls

            Like the dinosaurs these filthy fuels should have stayed buried underground. But true to form, energy companies dredged them up from hell to burn us all to hell.

Oil- This grimy goop represents the filthy slime of the industry executives who suck the sludge up from dwindling reserves without reservation. The drilling method is a perverted ritual that symbolizes a gargantuan masturbatory ejaculation exercise culminates in a spectacular oily orgasm, shooting the crude fluid up and out with such exuberance that its stock holders feel like cock holders. They celebrate by spilling tens of thousands of barrels of it into the sea, the same way sports teams spill champagne over each other after a big win.

Natural Gas- Gas is the earthbound equivalent of a human fart, but not as smelly. Its raw state is odorless so gas companies add a fart-like aroma to it, slightly less repugnant than a real fart, but just enough to let you know that something foul is in the air. The aroma is a safety requirement because methane gas is extremely noxious to breathe; one whiff of the vicious vapor causes instant death, like a canary in a coalmine. The environmentally devastating extraction process is a catastrophic combination of toxic chemistry and costly contamination. But other than that it's a relatively cheap and clean source of fuel for causing fatal fires and explosions.   It's the colossal fool's fossil fuel of choice.

Coal- A dirty black rock mined by roaming packs of humans who burrow deep underground to rip it from the bowels of the earth. Its primary purpose is to spew thick dark clouds of carbon dioxide from smoking stacks, which then showers down, on forests as acid rain. Its secondary purpose is to cause respiratory disease. Its tertiary purpose is to create jobs for people who will get black lung, the respiratory disease. A common hazard coal miners face is the inevitable cave-in that traps minors for weeks without food or water. It's all fun and games at first as they laugh about getting paid overtime for not working. But things turn sour later when excessive thirst forces them to drink urine, and starvation leads to cannibalism. Between cave-ins minors in the backwoods of Appalachia are prone to fits of macho rage when mill workers make a mockery out of their livelihood by comparing their entrance of the mineshaft to an anal cavity. Union minors, a proud breed known for their excuses, reacted violently with a major strike that put the company out of business and the minors out of a job.

Nuclear Power

            Here's textbook example of science gone awry. They thought it seemed like a good thing at the time; storage and disposal of the radioactive waste from this exciting new technology can be dealt with later when the next generation can invent an exciting new technology to deal with the problem-a classic case of kicking the can down the road. But in this case they're kicking the bucket. The geniuses that build nuclear power stations take great care in choosing ideal locations for new plants-on earthquake faults in Japan and California.

TRANSPORTATION
History is littered with transportation debacles like these:

Cars crash, planes get hijacked, trains derail, and boats sink. Every single transportation contraption that was ever invented has been a fiasco

Each mode of transportion started out as a bad idea, and despite efforts to improve them they still remain bad ideas.

The three examples pictured here are typical snafus involving different modes of transportation.

It's important that you study these images intensely until you understand how stupid these machines are.

The wheel was another bad idea that got stuck in our psyche, and we just can't seem to flush it away. When such foolish notions run repeatedly across the neural pathways of the brain, they dig our thinking processes into a deep rut from which it is extremely difficult to get out of. The concept of the wheel is a dastardly disease of the mind. Like fire, the initial discovery was an exciting event but it too became an object of over-obsessive zeal. The wheel fetish still haunts the mind of humanity more than ever. It is responsible for tens of thousands of deaths on our nations highways each year. World wide the cumulative sum of fatalities from automobile accidents since cars first began their campaign of mass murder is in the millions. But wheel was always a problem even in ancient times

Mass Transist Systems

Buses- Buses are the prefered vehicle of perverts because urban commuters pack into these smog-belching behemoths like sardines. It's the ideal environment to squeeze up against sexy women with impunity.

Subways- Subway trains slither through the dark urban underground tunnels like a venomous snakes with a gut full of verman.   At the snake pit station passengers are picked up, swallowed whole then digested in transit and defacated at their designated stop.

Railroads- The term “locomotive” means “crazy motivation”, and that just about sums up the idea behind this engineering farce. It seems as though they deliberately tried to invent a machine that was optimized for inefficiency just so they could claim it a success.

Ferries- This early mode of transportation never gained popularity among the general public due to the social taboo against homosexuality.

Animal Transport

Horses-Drawn Carriages- After centuries of men riding around on top of horses, camels, and even elephants, someone made them all look like fools by inventing an innovative alternative by attaching a simple car behind a horse, and voila! The horse and buggy was born. It was a somewhat substantial advance in transportation, but like most new technologies it was fatally flawed. The main problem that should have been obvious to the inventor was that riding behind the horse subjected the rider to the constant barrage of exhaust in the form of flying feces and dropping dung from the beast's buttocks. But riders were so happy with the benefits of the new carriage that they developed an unconscious love for the scat. It was the high point in the lives of the early adaptors to this new horse-cart hybrid, but it was a low point in the history of humanity. There were several variations of the apparatus including the chariot, which was used mainly as a way to kill people more efficiently.

Dog Sleds- This is proof postive that humans will go to any length to exploit animals any way they possibly can. Dog sleds are popular in polar regions far away from civilized society where eskimos can get away with such animal cruelty. The SPCA and Humane Society excuse the savage practice otherwise the eskimos would kill the dogs and eat them.

Camels- As silly as these creatures are to use for transportion, folks in the Middle East use them steadfastly rather than horses. In such countries the stereotypical American cultural image is that of a cowboy riding a horse killing indians with a six-shooter.

Motor Vehicles

Automobiles- The term automobile was coined as a marketing spin to imply that this was a self-powered vehicle that provided automatic mobility. The name designation had a two-fold function: The first car companies faced a difficult challenge trying to get horse & buggy drivers to upgrade to the newfangled motorized vehicle, and needed to change public perception about the benefits of the car and the hassles of the horse. Consumers were rightfully skeptical of this new contraption and the maintenance of its mechanized machinery. Marketers eventually managed to sway public opinion in favor of the car by insinuating that the production of horse excrement indicated that buggy drivers had deviant scatological fixations. No mention was made of their deeper bestiality complex because car makers exploited that disorder to seal their fate and finalize the transition to the car by giving many car models animal names, such as Mustang, Bronco, Thunderbird, Falcon, Stingray, etc. Another deceitful reason for using the term automobile was to distract consumer thinking away from the fact that there was nothing auto about the automobile. It requires continual maintenance and constant refueling at great expense.

Motorcycles- This two-wheeled motorized bicycle was just another ill-conceived idea meant ostensibly to provide an efficient means of transportation, but had the unintended consequences of being an efficient means of killing people who ride it. Psychologists suspect that the continued popularity unmasks the true motivation of the users; the resemblance of the motorcycle to a horse in regard to the manner in which the rider mounts the machine and straddles it between his legs while the loud motor roars with turbulent vibration. This is indicative of some strange pseudo-sexual malady compounded by suicidal fixations. Motorcycle riders, or Bikers as they are affectionately called, are a gnarly bunch of barbarian rebels without a cause—except to raise hell. Despite a reputation as an evil thug, the stereotypical biker is an incurable romantic who loves to pick up women and take them to a secluded spot then rape them. Notwithstanding their macho image bikers have a secret weakness; they are basically lost and lonely sniveling cowards. That's why they travel in packs like wild wolves on the prowl for problems to cause. The hard-core motorcycle gang members ride specially customized bikes called choppers.

Aircraft

If man were meant to fly he would have been born with wings is an old cliché that still holds true today. Nevertheless people continue to defy natural law trying to do what they were not meant to do -- with disasterous results. Aircraft were invented by people who were afraid of water so they decided to use the the sky instead. Their fear of drowning blinded them to the hazards of gravity. The urge to fly is another example of the failure of humans to evolve beyond their animalistic nature. Man's attempt to release his inner bird has grown into a full blown science called aeronautics. Although the original idea of flight was based the bird, man made flight bares little resemblance to his finefeathered friend. our evolution is really reverse evolution resulting in degenerative mutations such as the absence of wings. It would certainly explain why so many people are degenerates. Another perverse complication with the airplane is its design that looks less like a bird than a huge penis with wings. Female flight attendants work their way up and down the narrow isle while the pilot and copilot, usually male, sit side by side behind closed doors in a closet-like compartment called the “cockpit”. They do not disclose their private activities while in flight, so passengers only hear about the illegal drinking binges on news reports later.

Hot Air Baloons- These big baloons, otherwise called thermal airships, were the first aircraft ever invented, and like the inventor they were full of hot air.

Blimps- Another early attempt at manned flight was with the blimp, also known as a dirigible, or zeppelin. The most famous of which was the Hindenberg.

Helicopters- The origin of this contraption dates back to 400 BC when a simplified version was a toy that kids played with. Later in 1480 Leonardo DiVinci came up with a better design and called it an "aerial screw", and because of that name no onw took it seriously.

Airplanes- The Wright brothers are generally credited with the invention of the airplane. Although it was the wrong thing to do, most people mistook the name Wright to mean right, as in correct, and ever since society has been stuck with airplanes.

Jets- The airplane eventually evolved into a highly sophisticated supersonic version called a jet.

Spacecraft- This is the result of the idea of aircraft taken to the extreme.

Trains

The technical term for the train is locomotive. The term loco means crazy, and motive means movement. So trains are an insane type of transportation vehicle. Railroad barons changed the name locomotive to train as a PR ploy intended to mask their maniacal exploitation of the Western frontier and the wholesale slaughter of indigeonous populations. The term train was chosen because they needed to mentally train the public to condition them into allowing locomotives to be an acceptable mode of transportation. History has proven that the brainwashing campaign went too far.

Boats

The invention of the boat was another manifestation of  man's proclivity to retain his inner animal. In this case it's the fish. Due to the abundance of water on the planet it was dificult to avoid.

The main problem with boats is that they sink and people tend to drown as a result. This can be expected from a vessel invented thousand of years ago. Still they remain a popular mode of transportation because boat-lovers have failed to adequately evolve into modern times. A part of their mind is stuck way back in primeval times when the first sailors were so excited about boating that a significant strain of humanity -- their decendents -- never got over it. For them sailing is a ritualistic endeavor, they wear special clothes and have a sailing vernacular all their own. When boating they think it's a valid activity with some merit, and act so interested and involved in the process. While they sail off over the horizon to nowhere, staring out into an endless expanse of sea and sky, what could they possibly be thinking about? They probably don't even know themselves, but the study has determined that they go into a sort of nostalgic trance as they vicariously relive the wandering quest of the roaming nomad in their DNA.

Boats are yet another example of the human attempt to be an animal, in this case a fish. Having shed his scales, fins, and gills through evolution, man was forced to settle for the next best thing—a boat. But like all of the other idiotic animal based ideas it was doomed to failure. Aquatic transportation systems are cumbersome and unsuitable, and should be discontinued in favor of more viable alternatives.   What good is a boat that floats when   it's about to go over Niagra Falls? Luckily, the rest of us have enough sense to hate boats.

Rafts- This first form of boat was accidently discovered when a prehistoric man who couldn't swim climbed on a floating log to save himself from drowning. It quickly bevcame a popular alternative to swimming because man is by nature a lazy species.

Rowboats- These are the result of the early boaters' frustration with the limitations of the raft. Boat builders designed a new model with a streamlined contour and equiped with long wooden paddles called oars. These boats are used by people who are too cheap to buy a motor. It's a primitive mode of boating that entails strenuous labor rowing with wooden paddles called “oars”. Some esteemed psychologists surmise that rowboat aficionados are attracted to the long penis-like oars. Why else would they bother? They also speculate that this may account for the large percentage of gay sailors.

Motorboats- After the invention of the internal combustion engine it wasn't long before it would be attached to the boat. Motorized boats are used by people who are too lazy to use rowboats.   Motorboat ownership is a sign of weakness and shows an utter lack of manliness. Owners think that having a loud motor makes them more macho, but a survey of sexy women shows that loud motors actually scare women away,   and are therefore a homosexual feature in boating.

Yachts- These boats are a combination sailboat and motorboat. Yachts come in a variety of shapes and sizes, some even have sails for when the engine inevitably stalls. These expensive vessels have no useful purpose other than to get lost at sea, or simply sink and drown all passengers aboard.

Cruise Ships- Luxury liners are well known for breaking down and stranding hundreds of passengers on board with no running water and disease running rampant. The Titanic was an excellent example of the typical cruise ship in action. This boat is for people who have delusions of grandeur. For those who think they have too much leisure time to waste this boat serves only one purpose—to punish them by hitting an iceberg and sinking.  

Battleships- Ever since boats were invented they were used as war machines.The good thing about battleships is that they destroy other ships. This is a practical use of an impractical vessel.

Aircraft Carriers- This naval ship/airport combo is an innovative military transportation idea that would have been better left on the drawing board. At first glance it does look impressive, but when you think about it for a while it is actually a dumb idea -- most likely the result of some boondogle pork barrel project devized by some defense contractor and senator who ran out of practical ideas to waste tax money on. To maximize profits --and kickbacks -- they needed to make something huge. They originally wanted to build an airbase and battleship seperately, but the Senate appropriations committee would only finance one project. So the poltician and contractor did what they do best, they finagled a this monstrous contraption that incorporated both ideas in one ridiculous project. It was an impulse purchase, as congress and contractors were so drunk with cash that they didn't bother to think it through. And now were stuck with a foolish fleet of these things.

It's such a scandal that investigators suspect that the deployment of aircraft carriers is actually an enemy espionage operation because the consequence of having these boats will have the same result as if our enemies were responsible. If not, then the other excuse is even worse; that we are our own worst enemy. Military engineers made a monumental mistake with this one. They should have known that aircraft are in the air, not on the water. But by the time they realized their mistake it was too late. It is a gargantuan gaffe that will live in infamy, while jet planes miss the runway and fall into the ocean.

Submarines- This vessel represents the end result of the evolution of water-based modes of transportation, and it proves a pertinent point about its perverse problem. The submarine is a huge penis-shaped craft designed primarily for underwater navigation.   As another mechanical manifestation of man's animal obsession it resembles a stealthy shark stalking the depths on routine patrol. It has a telescopic tube called a periscope that rises from the sub to the surface like an erect penis. Unlike binoculars the periscope has only one lens, which represents the single-minded mentality of the submarine crew.   Specifically designed for predatory sneak attacks, it's a wicked weapon-wielding war fortress that, when aroused, shoots out penis-shaped missiles called torpedoes. These ejaculated projectiles penetrate so fast and deep with an explosive charge so powerful that no target is impregnable against them. These boats were accidentally invented by engineers when an experimental warship they were building partially sank.

True to form these submersable watercraft were instrumental in helping the Nazi Germany kill thousands of British and American serviceman in WWII. This vessel represents the end result of the evolution of water-based modes of transportation, and it proves a pertinent point about its perverse problem. The submarine is a huge penis-shaped craft designed primarily for underwater navigation. As yet another mechanical manifestation of man's inner animal resembling a stealthy shark stalking the depths on routine patrol. It has a telescopic tube called a periscope that rises from the sub to the surface similar to a penis erection. Unlike binoculars the periscope has only one lens, which represents the single-minded mentality of the crew. Specifically designed for predatory sneak attacks, it's a water-bourne weapon-wielding war fortress that, once aroused, shoots out penis-shaped missiles called torpedoes, named after the sandwich. These ejaculated projectiles penetrate fast and deep with an explosive charge so powerful that no target is impregnable against them.

CONSUMMER ELECTRONICS

There's no shortage of electronic products on the market, most of which no one needs, or wants. But manufacturers keep them coming and consumers keep buying a multitude of magic gadgets and gizmos every year. The price keeps getting cheaper because if it doesn't we'll find another Asian sweatshops that can make it for less.

Radio- No one knew it at the time but t his gadget launched the Age of Consumer Electronics. After electricity became a widespread utility people had no excuse to goof off after dark. Adults had to more household chores to do and kids were forced to read books and do school work. So everyone hated electricity until the radio was invented. Radios quickly became popular because people had an excuse to avoid work by listening to the radio.

Television- The TV is one of the most evil devices ever devised. It alone is responsable for more lives being wasted than any other gadget that is disguised as a passive gadget. When you add up all the hours spent by all the people who have ever watched TV, the scope of the loss of life becomes clear. Viewers can't resist the spectacle of the glowing screen and fall victim to its hypnotic effect, and sit spellbound for hours. Whoever calls it entertainment only shows the sorrowful state of their mind. This device is responsible for the imprisonment and execution of millions of innocent people. Their lives were squandered away while they gawked at the tube. They never considered the magnitude of the sociological suicide they helped propagate, but that does not excuse their negligence and irresponsibility nor does it mitigate their crime against humanity. On the contrary, they will not be spared from punishment because watching television is it's own penalty, though the viewer doesn't realize it until later--but by that time it's too late. So beware of this sinister situation. The problem starts early in life when parents use the TV as a virtual baby sitter. Kids watch cartoons and other idiotic programming that insults the intelligence of a chimpanzee. TV has a way of tricking them into thinking that what they watch on the screen is real, not a prerecorded video program. The announcer says it's “Live!” and the home audience believes it.

Desktop Computers- The personal computer (PC) was invented as a prosthesis to replace the human brain. As expected our brains have atrophied from the reliance upon such a crutch — and users just can't get enough. Whereas the telephone lets your fingers do the walking, now you can let the PC do the thinking. After all, thinking is too much like work and people have better things to do with their time. Why risk getting a headache trying to think when a PC can do it for you? It's literally a no brainer. But any benefit computers may have will soon be lost thanks to the Internet. Instead of using the PC for productivity purposes users spent most of their time surfing the web. New computers are more like interactive TV sets, so PC makers developed voice activated command features making the mouse and keyboard obsolete. Our fingers and limbs will be next to go.

In accordance with Moore's Law the number of transitors in a dense integrated circuit (chip) has doubled its processing power every 18 months on average, as did the increase in the number of new PC users and tech firm start-ups. In accordance to Less's Law the retail cost of a new PC and the market share each tech firm shrank exponentially. In accordance with most company business plans IT (hardware, software, and internet) upgrades will increase worker productivity and profits. But in accordance with the law of unintended consequences both company profit and worker productivity decreased in direct proportion to IT upgrades. Instead of increasing overall production output, the increase in actual productivity simply helped workers finish their jobs faster so they had more leasure time to waste sitting around taking advantage of the latest upgrades to play video games, watch streaming porn, and partake in online gambling and other nefarious activities. While PC upgrades spoiled the working class and made them lazier, it also empowered them and made them restless because now they felt chained to their workstations. They were mad as hell and weren't going to take anymore.

Laptops- Laptops satisfied consumer demand the same way lapdogs pacify their masters' angst, providing both with companionship. But many laptop users resent the comparison to a lapdog because it automatically infers a link to bestiality, which is a repugnantis taboo — and they don't want anyone to know about their perversion. Computer companies were quick to exploit and capitalize on closet consumers' fear of exposure simply by replacing the names with inconspicuous sounding names such as Notebook and Powerbook. The extortion ploy had limited success because everyone knows that a pervert by any other name is still a pervert.

Disreputable names notwithstanding, laptops were still a win-win situation. Home and office users got freedom and flexabilty in a powerful machine, while Businesses can have employees work remotely.

Mobile Devices- Having exausted their capacity to think up any ideas for new products due to acute brain atrophy, manufacturers resorted to tinkering with the same old electronic components to make new gizmos — in a technological inbreeding kind of way. The new products were cobbled together from spare parts scavenged from the sprawling industrial dump just outside Hong Kong. For pennies a day indentured servants in Asian sweatshops drudged away like mindless robots assembling the products, which they could not afford to own. They were truly rank and file, filing their fingers down to the bone in a rank smelling slave mill. Their enterprising ability was an exercise in futility. Their failed attempts to cope with the draconian labor conditions made international headlines when a slew of them slew themselves by jumping off the factory roof. The owner of the processing plant, who just so happened to be the proud descendant of a long line of fishermen dating all the way back to the Dang Dynasty — and then some — tried to outsmart the suicidal staff by procuring an acrobat safety net from a travelling gypsy circus passing through town, and jerry-rigging it around the perimeter of the building in order to catch any jumpers. In which case, he would slice, dice, and stir-fry in a wok with a shot of soy sauce and a pinch of pepper on high heat until the sand passes from the top chamber into the bottom chamber the hourglass (five minutes), then serve — according to an old family recipe.

But alas, the feckless fisher's ploy was foiled because he failed to place the bait in the net, so the suicide crew outsmarted him and used other methods to end their lives. Despite their plight replacements were hired in the blink of an eye. Nothing whatsoever could stop the supply of mobile devices — except for the lack of buyers. So just as the entire tech industry was about to crash a cabal of Madison Avenue marketing gurus devised a ruse to cajole consummers into wasting their hard-earned money on yet another gadget. The Mad Men's plan worked like a charm. It was an idea whose time had come.

Laptops were much, much, much, much, lighter and still a powerful workhorse, but a weakening workforce will always want less of anything that has to do with work. So the miracle workers in marketing answered their prayers with the lazy man's ultimate tech toy — the Digital Tablet. Bigger than a smartphone and smaller than a laptop, it filled the gap with apps to spare. Now consumers had yet another excuse to waste even more time — and money.

The sad irony here is that while users think the smartphones advance their intelligence, the net result is a mental defecit after the electromagnetic waves are factored in. Phone makers fine tune the nuclear power settings of each unit to fluctuate within a delicately balanced frequency range to generate from the low end the minimum amount of radiation needed to fry enough brain cells to make users stupid, to the maximum at the top end before smoke poors out your nostriles and tumors fly out your ears like popcorn. When that happens you'll know you have cancer — and there's no app for that. But there's apt name for smartphone users — Smartphonies — because they're not so smart after all. In fact anyone who has ever used one is classified as a new subspecies of the human race with genetically mutated freak of nature that should be captured and warehoused and put on display in a special zoo where teachers can take busloads of school children on a field trip to gawk at as an example of what will happen to them too if they ever even so much as look at a picture of a Smartphone.

Prior to the smartphone revolution the tech sector was in the throes of ruin. The trillion dollar industry was about to go belly up and down the drain, and take the rest of society with it. There were no jobs left except for Steve. The upper echelon of tech titans lost their shirts and shit their pants, then ate the excrement and swallowed their pride on national television. Those who failed to move their bowells tried to liquidate assets and asses then drink the urine, unless they could set up a lemonaide stand and sell it for a profit. They blamed consumers for the problem because they didn't consume any of their shit. Tech execs vowed to retaliate against their customers someday, and tried everything to do so. As a last resort they could have filed for bankruptcy and refinanced with a generous government bailout. But they decided to opt for plan A instead. The disgruntled bosses used the only skill they had to make a comeback — criminality.

Like rats struggling to climb out of a storm drain during a torrential downpour they wasted no time mustering the gumption, using every resource at their disposal to initiate the most devestation debauchery since the Manhatten Project. But this time the enemy was us. And the weapon was the digital equivelent to a hand grenade. The only diference is that you hold it to your head instead of throwing it as far away as possible. Up to this point consumers were already conditioned by advertising propganda and their brain power was collapsing, so they were primed for annihilation. The sitting ducks, like fish in a barrell, were an easy target for the mobile phone marketers. And they took the bait — hook, line, and sinker.

Within five years after the smartphone was deployed millions of users were addicted, and that was no accident. It was hardwired into the phone hardware and could not be disabled, even at an authorized service center. The device has become as much of a part of a user's ensemble as their underwear, and they feel naked without it. When a smartphone is stollen from a women, it's not just theft, it's also kidnap and rape as far as she is concerned. Smartphone is the quintessential status symbol, and if you don't have one you're a nobody, a common bum, and a loser who is ostracized from society.

Vibrators- The most popular yet least publicized gizmos on the market are adult sex toys. These intimate devices are used by people who can't get a date. These vibrators and dildos used primarily by women and gay men are a social taboo, and rightfully so.

HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES

What started as a well intentioned manufacturing movement toward freeing the housewife from a life of hard labor soon turned into an all out invasion of these killer machines. They infiltrated households like Trojan Horses disguised as handy helpers designed to save time doing the work faster and better than a human. Shortly after the arrival of the machines women realized that their services were no longer required as full time housekeepers, as did their husbands. Wives felt pressure to prove their worth and their husbands expected more from them to compensate for the loss of value as laborers. This condition lead to a profound transformation of the marital partnership with a new focus on the sexual aspects of the relationship. Women emphasized their sensual side using sex appeal to please their mate. Men welcomed their wives new image as sex object, they bought all the latest appliances to liberate wives from the slavery of housework, and would be free to be sex slaves. The arrangement worked fine for a while but eventually the women started complaining about being treated like whores. In addition the machines required someone to operate them, so the housewives were now slaves to the machines.

Humans invent appliances to do their work for them. The problem is that eventually appliances will do all their work and humans will no longer be needed. The following household appliances have an industrial counterparts which basically work the same way but are much larger and more powerful, as are the negative effects from their use.

Refrigerater- This modern day appliance had its origin from when ancient man stored perishable food in snow packs, a practice that later lead to the invention of the ice box, which was a storage box packed with ice. It wasn't until the discovery of electricity when what we know as the modern refrigerator was invented.

Oven- This is the second oldest kitchen appliance that marked an advancement in cooking technology from the campfire, to the fireplace, then to the first pot-bellied stove. Following a long series of upgrades with natural gas burning stoves and electric ranges, the latest version is the microwave oven. The electric range is the appliance from hell that gives the cook a taste of hell by burning her when possible. Gas grills not only cause deadly explosions but are a convenient way to commit suicide just by turning off the pilot light, turning the gas on and sticking your head in the oven for a while. Stoves are also useful for spilling boiling water on your skin, or splashing hot grease in your eye.

Dishwashers & Garbage Disposals - Like most inventions these appliances are products of human laziness, and as such are rife with hazards. Dishwashers led to mass unemployment in the restaurant industry, and many hands have been shredded while trying to retrieve a wedding ring when the garbage disposal was turned on.

Washer & Dryer- These appliances usually come in pairs, and are standard features in most homes. But if you're not rich you have to use the machines at the nearest laundramat.

Air Conditioner- Widely used in hot climates, this combination fan and refrigerater is another appliance that was invented with good intentions but had bad results. For example, women aren't forced to dress half-naked on a hot day.

CLASSIFIED TECHNOLOGY
Government officials disavow any knowledge of these systems
So why should they care if the information is disclosed here for all to see?

TIME MACHINE- If you ever wondered why earth still exists instead of being vaporized to smithereens in a nuclear holocaust, it’s because Armageddon really did happen already but we went back and stopped the apocalypse retroactively, just in the nick of time with the Time Machine.

    CLIMATE CONTROLLER- In an ill-conceived effort to ensure optimum weather conditions at the golf course, a group of rogue billionaires pooled the money that they stole from the piggy banks of crippled poor children. But instead of clearing the clouds above the country club they had much more fun using it to thaw out glaciers.

    PARTICLE BRAKE- To win the War On Drugs this system was designed to reverse the progress made by the speed freaks that need meth to fuel their Particle Accelerators. In order to produce enough heroin to fuel the Particle Brake it became necessary to invade Afganistan. George Bush and Dick Cheney led the charge armed with nothing more than their bare fists and a sling shot.